6 Important Tips Couples Need In Order To Save A Marriage On The Brink Of Divorce
All couples go through rough times, but it’s how they address the rough times that can make or break their marriage. Many couples despise the idea of airing their dirty laundry to a third party… thinking it means defeat in the marriage. The reality is that a marriage counselor can do your marriage a world of good. They know that, in order for a marriage to work, both parties must consistently work on the relationship.
So, what do you do when you’re constantly fighting your other half, with no end in sight? How do you save a marriage that’s on the brink of a divorce? This is where the helpful advice of a third-party (a marriage counselor) can come in and work with you. What are some pieces of advice a marriage counselor will give you and your spouse to work things out?
6 Key Tips To Help You To Save Your Marriage
Tip 1 – Determine If It’s Just A Rough Patch
All marriages go through ups and downs. It’s important though not to do anything until you try working things out for at least a year or two. The idea is to let the dust settle between the two of you to ensure that divorce is truly what you want. When the dust settles, people see what their true desires really are and can make a better decision about their marriage’s future.
Tip 2 – Understand That Conflict Leads To Growth
Problems in a marriage don’t always mean the marriage needs to end. Instead, you can use the conflict in the marriage to grow. All relationships go through a power struggle. During this time, people tend to be more defensive about themselves. They look at everything their partner is doing as being wrong. And, this causes them to feel attacked. This can lead to the hopelessness of being unable to reignite the spark they had. Talking can actually ease the conflict the couple is feeling.
3 – Say Me, Not We
Marriage involves two people, not one. And, when there is a problem, it’s the result of two people, not one. However, instead of saying, we’re at fault for something, consider what you’re doing to add to that “we” problem. When you fixate on things you’re doing wrong, it encourages you to make things better within yourself and the marriage.
Tip 4 – Listen To When Your Partner Talks
The biggest reason a marriage falls apart is the lack of communication. This is usually the result of when a couple both has issues they must deal with and cannot talk to their spouse. While a marriage counselor is a good short-term solution, it’s not the end all, be all solution. Rather, a couple needs to listen to each other to determine what’s going on in the relationship and make suggestions on how to make it better.
Tip 5 – Compromise, Compromise, Compromise
When it comes to a successful relationship, there must be some compromising going on. Neither party in a relationship should have full control or say it what happens in the marriage. Your partner should be willing to listen to your point of views and ideas just as you should be with him/her’s.
There must be some type of a middle ground.
Too much emphasis on one person’s feeling, ideas, goals and desires will often lead to resentment and hate. If you’re going to save your marriage from the brink of divorce, a couple needs to make sure both of them are happy with the situation they’re currently in.
Tip 6 – Ask Yourselves Why You Want To Stay Married
There was a reason you got married in the first place. If a couple wants to keep the marriage alive, they need to work together to determine what makes the marriage work. The desire to make the relationship a success often leads them to determine what they could be doing to overcome the challenges they are faced with.
A marriage takes two people to create and make successful. When one party seems more vested than the other, it builds up the resentment and can lead to consequences they may never have considered. If your marriage is on the brink of divorce, consider why and the circumstances for your feelings.
Consider checking out Dr. Lee H. Baucom’s online program “Save The Marriage System” at www.savethemarriage.com if you believe your marriage is important enough to invest in.