It appears that more and more married women are staying in relationships despite the fact they know their husband is cheating on them. Women often stay with their man if he shows some type of remorse or appears to be truthful in never letting the infidelity happen again.
Why is that though? There is a multitude of reasons for their decisions. They may stay to keep their family together – to ensure the children are happy. They may stay for a financial reason (the inability to handle finances with one income). Some women may stay because they feel that, after years of marriage, it’s in their best interest to at least try and repair the damage.
7 Tips On How To Deal With A Cheating Husband
Have you recently found out that your husband has been cheating on you? If so, then you’re probably wondering how you can cope with the knowledge that he was unfaithful. Do you want to know how to deal with infidelity in your marriage?
Do you walk away without a second look?
Do you give the relationship another shot?
One of the most important tips on how to deal with infidelity is to realize that your ego is bruised and you no longer trust your spouse. Your partner is some stranger who’s been lying to you for years. It’s hard to get past that sense of inadequacy. You may feel like you’re never going to be the same person – and the reality is, you never are.
This kind of betrayal makes a person suspicious – to do things they would never have thought to do before. You may feel like spying on your significant other because you can’t trust them. Your world will never be the same. You don’t feel as safe as you did previously.
This is where getting help is a necessity. Look for some support to help you during this time. You’re in an emotional fallout, and you need friends and family you can trust – even a third-party that you have no relation to – to assist you. Consider looking into forums or support groups. Read articles, and talk to professionals who have your best interest at heart.
In the long run, you’ll thank yourself for it.
Talk To Your Husband About The Infidelity
As hard as it may seem, you’re going to need to talk to your husband about what happened. This is the time for you to ask questions regarding the history and his behavior. You probably have questions as to why he did it. Don’t just blurt these questions out. Instead, think about them rationally to ensure you get a clear understanding of what happened.
Ask him when it happened.
How long it’s been going on?
Where did he meet them?
Where did they go?
Most women already know when a man is cheating on her. It’s a gut feeling they have that something wasn’t right in the marriage. The answers to your questions only confirm those suspicions. Did your husband really need to go away on a business trip? Did he leave early from dinner to meet with a business client or meet with her?
The only surefire way to overcome the betrayal you feel is to have the husband admit his behavior and commit to ending it once and for all. He must also come clean about the entire affair – from beginning to end. He needs to realize that you’re in charge now to determine what information you really need to know.
Bear in mind that while some information is helpful, some of it can be downright hurtful. You need to know how much is too much and when the right time to stop talking is. Take things slowly. If you’re asking questions about it, your husband should be willing to provide those answers.
Seek Support From Somewhere. You’re in an emotional fallout, and you need friends and family you can trust.
Let Your Husband Know You Need To Proof… For Now
While you don’t want to monitor your husband from this point on and you can’t control his behavior, you should explain to him that for a time, you’d like to know where he is and who he is with. This will help you to determine if he’s going to truthful and faithful. Let him know that you want to trust him, but he has to earn that back.
Of course, you can always say nothing and see what he does. Will he prove your suspicions right again? A wait-and-see scenario often leaves a woman with no power in her hand and subjected to his every whim. And, if you ignore those suspicious feelings you have, it may do your relationship more harm than good. Do not keep your head in the sand when it comes to your feeling and misgivings.
If you let your husband know about how you feel and express the need for some verification – at least for a little while – he may realize just how much of your trust he needs to earn back. He needs to understand that there will be occasions when he raises a red flag in your eyes and you’re nervous about what he’s doing.
Time will help heal the wound and lead you to trust him again, but there will be hiccups along the way. If he lets you know what he’s doing, then you can let your nervous system ease up on your body.
Your husband got himself into this mess, and now it’s time for him to get himself out if he plans on staying with you. This means cutting off all contact with sites, apps, services and people that helped him to cheat. Ask him to prove that he’s done this for you. If necessary, ask him to end it in front of you.
Tell Your Husband You Both Need To Be Tested For STDs
Do not ever trust your husband in saying he took precautions when asking him for the tests. He has cheated, and your health is now at risk. You should want both of you tested. You may not want to admit this to your doctor because of the embarrassment that you feel, but it’s better safe than sorry. Your doctor isn’t making judgments about the situation. Your health should be your number one priority.
Slowly Become Sexually Intimate Once Again
For some women, the hardest part of staying with a husband who cheated on you is having sex with them after the affair. For other women, they’ll use sex to feel secure in the relationship. The best advice you can get is to do what you feel is right. If you need to wait to have sex after the affair, then wait. If you feel like being sexually closed to him is what you need, then do it. But, go at your pace… not his.
And remember, physical intimacy can often affect the communication that needs to happen to get past the pain. Time will heal wounds; sex doesn’t!
Participate In Couples Counseling
Infidelity is something people cannot easily get over. It affects every part of the relationship, and no matter how hard a couple tries, they may not be able to address the problems for themselves. This is when couples counseling may be in order. If your husband is a habitual cheater, then it can be difficult for a wife to know when her husband is actual feeling remorseful about his actions. They’re afraid to trust, only to find they’ve been suckered once again.
A certified therapist can help couples to talk with each other about the situation and how to best move on from the pain.
Infidelity in a marriage can break a couple’s connection, and these are just some of the many ways in which they can reconnect. If a woman decides to stay with her husband after an affair, then it’s important that she can heal and forgive, but it takes time. If you want to stay with your cheating husband, you must first ask yourself if you can get over the betrayal, learn about your husband once again and determine if this relationship is really what you want.
Are you a woman who found out her husband is cheating on you? Want to know more about how to deal with cheating husband without losing him? If so, then consider checking out Dr. Lee H. Baucom’s online program “Save A Marriage System” at http://savethemarriage.com. If your marriage means the world to you, then getting some additional tips on how to save it may be the best thing you do for your relationship.